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who am i anymore?

What has my life become?  It’s a question I ask myself on the daily now  Am I doomed to live here forever, Stuck in a house that doesn’t feel like home?  Am I going to live a lonely life, No friends in town or love to hold?  Everything in my life has lost meaning now I don’t want to be here or there I don’t even want to be in this world most days  The depression has clawed its way back, Cementing itself in my life again.  I thought I got rid of it,  I thought the friends I had helped get rid of it  But now I see it more than ever  Alone in an old house  Alone in a life i don’t want to live anymore  I’m here but nowhere at the same time  My face is not my face But a mask everyone has become so accustomed to they’ve forgotten who I am inside It’s easy to fake a smile  But I’ve faked for so long I don’t know who I am anymore  Am I dead or am I living?  Am I even here righ...
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the curse of my birthday

It’s back  The darkness is back  The need to sit in a dark room and cry has returned  The need to nothing but wallow in sorrows  I wanted nothing more than to spend the weekend with my friends  To enjoy their company  To celebrate my 21st birthday  But the curse has reared its ugly head again The curse that brought about many dark times on my birthday  It never fails  It comes in the form of weather normally  But this year it wants to curse me this way  It wants me to sit alone in a dark room  Crying for friendship and company  It wants me to see just how lonely I am  To force me to see that I have no control  And everything in my life is doomed to be destroyed in a flood of tears  I hate my birthday  I hate it with a passion now  I used to wonder why people hated their birthdays  But I get it now  It means nothing more than another year of pai...
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Sunrise

It is the most calming moment of the day Just before the moon sets and the sun crests over the horizon In this moment, there is only you and nature There is you and the birds, awakening from their slumber and tweeting their morning songs There is you and the wind, still brisk from the night before There is you and the silence of a city, unaware of what the day will bring next. In this moment, there are no worries, no heartaches, no fear, no pain, no hesitation. The anxieties that plague our world don't exist in this moment, as we say goodbye to the night, the moon, the stars... And say hello to the sun and its ever glowing rays. But this moment will be short lived, for once it is gone- life shall begin again. The city will awaken and all the stresses of the day before shall return. At the end of this beautiful moment, is when we crave for life to stop again For the moon to rise and put a pause on life Only for the whole sequence to be started again.
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