the curse of my birthday

It’s back

The darkness is back

The need to sit in a dark room and cry has returned

The need to nothing but wallow in sorrows

I wanted nothing more than to spend the weekend with my friends

To enjoy their company

To celebrate my 21st birthday

But the curse has reared its ugly head again

The curse that brought about many dark times on my birthday

It never fails

It comes in the form of weather normally

But this year it wants to curse me this way

It wants me to sit alone in a dark room

Crying for friendship and company

It wants me to see just how lonely I am

To force me to see that I have no control

And everything in my life is doomed to be destroyed in a flood of tears

I hate my birthday

I hate it with a passion now

I used to wonder why people hated their birthdays

But I get it now

It means nothing more than another year of pain

Of stress and mental breakdowns

Of tears and sorrow

Of loneliness

I don’t want to celebrate my birthdays anymore

I don’t want to deal with this curse anymore

I don’t want to feel so sad and lonely anymore

I don’t want the darkness to swallow me up for the millionth time again

Although I can see it already has

And there’s no coming back from this drowning now

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