Free My Mind

My mask I’ve worn it so long I’ve forgotten what it looked like  I’ve forgotten what I look like  I've forgotten who the hell I am  Who I was  Who I want to be  Everyone in my life has seen my mask I’ve learned to wear it well  Few have seen beyond it  And only those few know my secrets  My deepest secrets But even they haven't seen it all  There’s a mask in every part of my life  At home In school With family  Everywhere I have a mask  I wear a mask  Most people don’t even realize it's there  They don't realize that the me they see  Is not the me inside  They don't know the dreams I feel I’m losing  They don't know the darkness that lives in my mind  They don't know the life I've lost They don't know anything  And I feel that no one does  No one knows how deep my secrets go  The dark places my mind can wander if I don't control it  They don't know anything  And I’m beginning

What has my life become?  It’s a question I ask myself on the daily now  Am I doomed to live here forever, Stuck in a house that doesn’t feel like home?  Am I going to live a lonely life, No friends in town or love to hold?  Everything in my life has lost meaning now I don’t want to be here or there I don’t even want to be in this world most days  The depression has clawed its way back, Cementing itself in my life again.  I thought I got rid of it,  I thought the friends I had helped get rid of it  But now I see it more than ever  Alone in an old house  Alone in a life i don’t want to live anymore  I’m here but nowhere at the same time  My face is not my face But a mask everyone has become so accustomed to they’ve forgotten who I am inside It’s easy to fake a smile  But I’ve faked for so long I don’t know who I am anymore  Am I dead or am I living?  Am I even here right now?  Am I who I want to be anymore?  I never asked to be so dark

I watched a film today  ‘What Happened to Monday’ It focused on how the human race will eventually over populate and be forced into two ultimatums Death  Or belated death  I don’t know why But it now has me thinking Thinking of how many times has our world been reset and we just don’t know it Thinking of how many civilizations of the human race have there been that have obliterated their own world and forced it to regrow anew Thinking of how many years there may truly be in the universe’s history No one knows the full history of the world because maybe there is more to it than we thought Science believes that our world started with the dinosaurs, But could this be true?  Could there be an entire story before ours, billions of years before we believe it to be? Could there have been a world like our own?  A present world full of new inventions everyday Of free minded people who follow their dreams  A world so perfect and peaceful it only seemed to exist

At a certain point in my life I've learned to turn it off  What you may ask?  My humanity  Why?  So that the happenings of the world don't completely destroy me  Shooting after shooting  Bomb after bomb  Death after death  Is this what humanity has become?  One sting after another of destruction and despair  Without the humanity in me,  I can't be destroyed completely by these  I don't fear for my life at every given moment  I won't question what it's like to be human because at the end of the day I don't want to be After the smoke has cleared  And the tears have dried up We are still a bunch of animals slowly losing their minds, Trapped in a dying world  With nowhere to go but 6 feet down

Euphoria Is this what Euphoria feels like?  Or is this just pure excitement building up inside me, waiting for the perfect moment to boil over?  What is Euphoria? The dictionary defines it as a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness But it goes no further leaving the cause open to interpretation.  Some believe Euphoria can only be reached through actions, Through memories being made But I believe there is more to Euphoria than a single moment A single happy moment Euphoria can be something much bigger than this Much bigger than just ourselves and our memories Euphoria can be love  Total and all encompassing love  A love so strong it crosses borders Oceans  Languages Euphoria is what I feel when hearing your voice Listening to the words rolling off your tongue  Craving it as if they are my last dying breath Euphoria is what I feel when seeing your happy smile Letting it into the world to brighten my day  And grow m

It is the most calming moment of the day Just before the moon sets and the sun crests over the horizon In this moment, there is only you and nature There is you and the birds, awakening from their slumber and tweeting their morning songs There is you and the wind, still brisk from the night before There is you and the silence of a city, unaware of what the day will bring next. In this moment, there are no worries, no heartaches, no fear, no pain, no hesitation. The anxieties that plague our world don't exist in this moment, as we say goodbye to the night, the moon, the stars... And say hello to the sun and its ever glowing rays. But this moment will be short lived, for once it is gone- life shall begin again. The city will awaken and all the stresses of the day before shall return. At the end of this beautiful moment, is when we crave for life to stop again For the moon to rise and put a pause on life Only for the whole sequence to be started again.