Free My Mind

I’m fine  It’s become such a part of my daily speech I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be it  To be fine  To not lie to the face of everyone I encounter  To not worry about the flood of tears hidden behind my eyes Doomed to erupt at any moment without control or consent I want to be fine  I want to not feel like every second of everyday I scramble through life in a fog  A dense, ever thickening fog Draining the air from my lungs Stumbling in the darkness never to find the light  Every step I take sets me back ten more There’s no use in turning around and cheating I’m so far from the start that it’s become useless to even try   I want to feel happy and excited about my life  Not dreading every day to come  I want to stop feeling like swimming up for air  Is doing nothing but dragging me down further I want to go back to when my life was good Before I lied everyday about how I was feel...

It’s back  The darkness is back  The need to sit in a dark room and cry has returned  The need to nothing but wallow in sorrows  I wanted nothing more than to spend the weekend with my friends  To enjoy their company  To celebrate my 21st birthday  But the curse has reared its ugly head again The curse that brought about many dark times on my birthday  It never fails  It comes in the form of weather normally  But this year it wants to curse me this way  It wants me to sit alone in a dark room  Crying for friendship and company  It wants me to see just how lonely I am  To force me to see that I have no control  And everything in my life is doomed to be destroyed in a flood of tears  I hate my birthday  I hate it with a passion now  I used to wonder why people hated their birthdays  But I get it now  It means nothing more than another year of pai...